Walking the Shoreline

The journey of someone just like you, on a journey just like you

Category: Love (page 1 of 9)

7 Things To Consider Before Throwing Your Relationship Away

When things don’t go the way you hoped, breaking it off with someone seems to be the most viable option. Here are 7 things to consider before throwing your relationship away.

Check this before throwing your relationship away

Source: Focus Features (and a brilliant move on this topic!)

I’m writing this towards one of the most reflective times of the year – Christmas. Like birthdays and New Year’s Eve, it’s one of those repeated items of the calendar that make you think about this time last year. It’s one of those times you reconsider everything in your life – your work life, how close you are to achieving your dreams, the decisions you’ve made this year, and – yes, of course – your relationships. David McCandless did a study for a Ted Talk whereby he found that one of the most common times of the year to breakup is the two weeks leading up to and including Christmas. Continue reading

Have You Missed “The One”? In Search Of The Soulmate

Have you already missed the best person for your life? Have you missed ‘the one”? Or is your soulmate still out there?

Have you missed "The One"?

Source: Disney

If you know me, you know I always take note when someone mentions a greater struggle taking place in their lives. I seem to have some sort of a fascination with the bigger reasons behind why people do things, and some people have learned not to mention certain things around me because I’m likely to ask a lot about it. I’m also interested in why people don’t do things. I really find it hard at times to shake certain comments people make long after I’ve finished conversing with them. I tend to feel people’s thoughts, their fears, their regrets deep within my heart.

Case and point, today I was reminded of a few people who had talked to me on the topic of whether or not they had already missed “The One”. No, not that Jet Li movie (although I still really enjoy that one) – the ever elusive soulmate. Does such a perfect person exist for each person in the world, and if so, is it possible that I may have already missed my chances with them?

I remember such a conversation where one of my friends was looking visually distraught. “What’s wrong?”, I asked. “Well”, she said, “my ex is getting married today, and I’m finding it really hard”. I was trying to be comforting and was saying how hard it is when you have to watch someone who broke things off with you enter into a new relationship. She said, “No, I was the one who broke it off with him, and now I’m sad he’s getting married to someone else”. Continue reading

My Problem With “I Can’t Help It”

What do you do when people refuse to change? Here is my problem with the statement, “I can’t help it”.

My Problem With I Can't Help It

We recently completed our pre-marriage counselling, and it was an experience I would definitely recommend any serious couple to undertake. We did the Prepare/Enrich course with some longtime mentors and friends of mine. I wasn’t sure what it would be like at the start but after the 200+ questions, I knew we’d have some things to talk about. And we did. I remember one of my habits came up during conversation that had been brought up before – one I’ve been working to improve. Not necessarily a bad thing, but a strong clashing point that could come off as dismissive in certain circumstances, which is not the vibe you want to give your spouse. Continue reading

6 Books I’m Glad I Read Before I Got Engaged (And One During!)

It’s a time of preparing for a lifetime of eternal bliss, sexual fulfillment and everything always being perfect and wonderful… right? Here are 6 books I’m super glad I read before I got engaged.

Books I'm Glad I Read Before I Got Engaged

A little happy snap from our engagement

And one I’m even more glad I read while engaged.

Last night I wrote a post about the questions I get asked the most about writing online. In it I wrote a small snippet about the importance of being honest, in which I wrote two different paragraphs about the engagement season to illustrate the difference when you’re being open about yourself. Thinking about it today, I was thinking that there really is a lot more I could write about the final months leading up to The Big Day. The bestowing of The One Ring to Rule Them All. The end of my old mancave life as I know it.

Oh, and I also wrote about the importance of writing consistently, so this is probably me making up for a few weeks that I’ve skipped over on the regular content! Continue reading

When Nobody Is Good Enough For You

Whether it’s the inability to find someone worthwhile, or feeling stuck in a relationship – what do you do when nobody is good enough for you?

Nobody is good enough for you?

Photo by Bruce Mars from Pexels

This one comes to you on the other side of some exciting personal news. I’ve recently gotten engaged in the last week or so, and Walking The Shoreline has had over 400,000 visitors! I am truly humbled by all the visitors I’ve had over the last few years, as well as all the messages I get from all across the world of how a few simple words from me have fostered some thought and even some life changing decisions. One of my absolute favourite sorts of messages and conversations have been about how people have seen their marriages and relationships turn around for the better. I love hearing any of those sorts of stories, so make sure you drop me a line on my Facebook page! Continue reading

7 Reasons Why You Should Just Tell Him (Or Her)

Life is too short to keep love to yourself. Here are 7 reasons why you should just tell him (or her).

You should just tell him (or her)

Source: Pexels

“Matt, why is this one not targeted at guys telling them to communicate their love?”. Well, it is. It’s about all of us really. The phrasing here, “Tell Him”, refers to a classic duet between Celine Dion and Barbara Streisand which seems to be a frequent summary of some of the greatest advice in the realms of love I’ve ever heard. Whilst a dialogue between a younger woman seeking counsel from an older woman about a man she loves, it really does tackle one of the greatest struggles that exists in the realm of relationships on both sides of the fence – the communication of love.

In the song, a younger woman conveys the struggle of many young men and women. Being scared and being afraid to show your care. What if there’s someone else? What if I’m wasting my time? What if what if what if?

It can be really hard to tell someone that you love them. There can be overwhelming fear and uncertainty when even considering the idea. When you’re single, how do you know what to do in order to build a relationship or let someone know you care? How can you be sure whether or not they will respond positively or run screaming the other way? How much game do you need to employ in order to catch the one your heart desires? Continue reading

Is Your Phone Ruining Your Love Life? – Valentine’s Day 2018

Is your phone ruining your love life? Single, dating or married, the greatest competition to a satisfying relationship may be that little screen in your pocket.

Is Your Phone Ruining Your Love Life?

I think everyone has had a Valentine’s Day that’s sucked. For some it was because it was a time of love unrequited. For others it was a time where you felt forced into expressing your feelings for someone you feel you’ve already sufficiently expressed your feelings for. Others still may remember a bad date or a breakup triggered by the pressure of the day.

For me a Valentine’s Day that always sticks out was one a few years ago when I had to travel to Canberra for work, and only one of us were put on the rental arrangement for the car. Unfortunately, that person got sick early and I was back in the hotel before 5:30pm with nothing to do and nowhere to go, on Valentine’s Day, thinking about this on again off again what are we doing again relationship I was in at the time. By myself in a hotel room in a city that doesn’t always have a lot to do once you’ve been there enough times. Magical.

It’s a day that always puts pressure on where you are. Single people feel their singleness, no matter how hard they may try to resist or belittle the day. Married people feel the pressure to love like they used to, or perhaps like they never have. Dating people feel the reality check brought on by comparison and commercialism on the day. I don’t think these things are really that bad. I think it’s actually good to have a day that puts pressure on what is often the most frustrating and often the most dismissed area in our lives. It can be a healthy thing to have a health check on your life choices. Continue reading

Ghosting Is The Worst Phenomenon In Modern Relationships

Ghosting is the worst. Here’s a look at an ever increasing, and an ever disheartening, trend in modern relationships.

Ghosting is the worst

Photo by Tirachard Kumtanom from Pexels https://www.pexels.com/photo/bench-countryside-couple-dating-450050/

This year I was working for a company that had a bit of a shorter Christmas closure period, so we only had a week or so off. It was certainly enough for people to get enough of a break from the work calendar, get some things done (I took 100kgs of old junk out of storage to the tip, I feel like such a man), and spend time with people we love. Coming back from break is the usual question of “What did you do over your break?”. It’s the grown up equivalent of show and tell, and listening to everyone’s experiences is always a joy at the start of the year. Continue reading

It’s The Most Difficult Time Of The Year

The song says it should be the most wonderful time, but for many, Christmas is the most difficult time of the year.

The most difficult time of the year

Source: Universal

Can you believe the year is almost over? How amazing is that. If you’ve already read my Year in Review, you’ll already know that I felt like I lived a whole lifetime in this year. That’s not necessarily a good thing, but I’m glad I am where I am finishing this year.

Here comes Christmas. It’s a time of lots of presents, increased financial pressure, a few extra days off from work (or a few weeks if you’ve taken more time or work in education), and the worst drivers on the road all out there at the same time. Seriously, every day this week on the way into the office I have been behind multiple people who have been drifting between lanes on the highway or at dangerous merging locations. Must be on the nog a bit too early. Continue reading

#MeToo: How Men Should Treat Women

Alyssa Milano asked, and thousands upon thousands responded. At the centre of a hashtag and a Hollywood scandal, we see underlined a problem that endures today: the issue of how men should treat women.

Mature written content warning.

How Men Should Treat Women

For the past week and a bit, I had been thinking it’s time I wrote another article looking at men’s attitudes towards women in modern society. Then enters this week, with the litany of allegations towards Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein, and a growing awareness of how truly apathetic people have been towards his actions over the years, whereby acts of harrassment and assault have been brushed over. Discontent with the overall response and what seems to be a prevailing culture of chauvinism, celebrity Alyssa Milano put out a simple campaign idea asking women to simply retweet or repost “Me too” if they have also been victims of assault or harassment.

And what a response it has been. Continue reading

My Problem With How We Worship Being Single

We get it. You can live a good life while you’re single. But I really think the point is hammered to the point of being obsessive, to the point that we worship being single.

Worship Being Single

Source: Warner Bros

It feels like every day I see at least 10 articles or memes about how awesome it is being single, including and not limited to clickbait-y GIF loaded posts like on HuffPost, those that are more inspirational and reflective in nature, and even posts by faith based Relevant Magazine. All of them labour the same points – you get to work on yourself, you don’t have to hate your life just because of your relationship status, you can do all the things you want alone before involving someone else, it’s a good chance for self discovery, and that there are some great people throughout history who dominated the single life. From Mother Teresa to Jesus to Joan Of Arc, you’re in good company, so you do you girl (or boy… you get the point).

These articles number in the tens of thousands. Seriously. Continue reading

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