It ruins dating prospects, it kills marriages and families, and destroys mental health – most people stop making friends as they get older.
But they really shouldn’t.
Defining the problem
I have been in a lot of conversations with people who are trying to find their life partner, expressing their desire to marry their best friend. However I am always quite fascinated by the answer to the question, “Would you date any of your friends?”. Many people say no.
Do young people today get a bad wrap over an idealisation of the past? Here are 7 ways the younger people today aren’t worse than previous generations.
If you know me, you know my wife and I absolutely love Gong Cha. Not the milk teas or the tapioca pearls, but the green and alisan teas with a fruit in them. Oooh and Aloe Vera. If you’re shouting, Grapefruit Green Tea or Mango/Lemon Alisan teas no sugar with Aloe Vera you can’t go wrong. So good.
We were out with our young daughter around Southbank over the Christmas break at the store there when I realised something – I’m not going to be able to open this big door at the angle I’m wheeling the pram. What am I going to do? I’m on struggle street. And I’m blocking everyone inside from being able to reach the handle themselves.
A group of young men was walking passed, perhaps early 20s, and one of them saw me struggling with my life choices over by the door and rushed over to open it for us. I hope that young man is blessed beyond belief for seeing a stranger and helping out.
I see you there. You know who you are. The ones who scroll Facebook but never post anything themselves.
When my wife and I announced we were dating on social media, I think the Internet broke. It’s very encouraging to have the support and love of your friends and family. I think the posts clocked up 700+ likes in a matter of hours.
I remember thinking, wow, people are really cool. I also remember thinking, wait, I haven’t seen about 50 of these people post anything in a while.
A similar reaction when we got engaged, what a happy day that was. And put up our wedding photos. Our first married Christmas photo. And then when we announced our pregnancy. All a similar response.
And then when our child was born, how great was that. And when she was one month old. And two. And three. And omigosh what a cute baby photo. Or a super cute or cool photo of my dog. And…
Hang on a second, there they are again. And again. Within minutes. Sometimes within seconds. I thought these people never used Facebook? And on that person’s baby photos. And on that public page. And boy oh boy on that news.com.au article. And on that meme about the cow and how relatable it is to sisterhood and/or Bitcoin investing.
You know who you are. The ones who scroll Facebook but never post anything themselves.
It seems even sex, politics, and religion have not inspired as much contention or division as this issue recently. Here’s why I got vaccinated against COVID-19.
NB. These views are my own.
It seems like just a short time ago when the anti-vax movement was the butt of every joke and meme for at least a year. Whether it was pulling old episodes of House MD, comparing anti-vax parents to Spongebob chickens or just outright criticism of the death of children, it seemed like a daily occurrence to see someone paying out those opposed to vaccines.
There is no greater exhaustion than living dissatisfied. Here are 6 things that can distract you from your purpose.
I think it’s quite well chronicled that burnout is a devastating state to live in. When you’ve overexerted yourself physically, emotionally or spiritually, it can take quite a while to recover from it. In fact I know several people who never really have been the same since a stint with burnout. If you’re in that category I’ve been absolutely loving the writings of Carey Nieuwhof in this space – highly recommended.
But I think even more prevalent than this sort of exhaustion is the exhaustion that comes not from doing too much, but doing too little of what you should be doing. I believe all of us have a purpose to fulfil on this planet and I’m yet to meet a person who doesn’t have some sort of awareness that they were meant for more.
Whether trying to build friendships, find a date, or make a difference, we all need to put ourselves out there. Here are 6 ways to be more outgoing, written by an introvert.
Well it’s been a hot minute since my last post indeed. In that time the world has more steadily begun to move towards being a more open place, or at least in my own country of Australia. Two states within the next few weeks are about to open borders and plans like COVID doesn’t exist anymore, with a number of the others well on their way.
One of the areas that seems to have taken the greatest hit during lockdowns and stop/start meetups is dating. I’ve spoken to a *lot* of singles over the past 18+ months who have expressed extreme frustration in this regard, even more than usual. But to be honest, it was well before a global pandemic where people still struggled to put themselves out there to try to make a love connection.
Words can say one thing, but dating habits can say another – are you sure you really want to marry your best friend?
Mature written content warning.
Everyone says being able to marry your best friend is the absolute goal when it comes to dating and marriage. I wholeheartedly agree to be honest. So much so that on our wedding day we made sure that the words of Bishop Jeremy Taylor were shared during our ceremony – that love is friendship set on fire. I’m very fortunate and blessed to say that years later this is still the case in ever increasing measure.
Can’t find a date, a place to belong, or even a friend in and around church life. Here are 5 ways to make meaningful connections and avoid becoming a lonely Christian.
Many Christians live their lives guided by a series of views on what they’re “supposed to” be or not “supposed to” be. In fact, “supposed to” is one of the biggest phrases we throw around in our life of faith. It’s because the Christian life by nature shows us what our ideal and fully fulfilled and redeemed potential could be, as well as things that get in the way.
One of those big “supposed to” phrases is that “I’m not supposed to feel lonely”. You’ve got God, you’ve got a faith community, you’ve got your Bible, you’ve got all these things that you thought were supposed to eradicate loneliness forever. And yet here you might be – a lonely Christian, wondering if things are ever going to be different.
Christian teaching is big on forgiving, but have we missed something important? Here’s how a warped view of forgiveness enables abuse and destroys lives.
I’m a big believer in forgiveness. Healing is often impossible without first forgiving. It’s something I’ve written a lot about and a quality I’ve endeavored to exemplify in my life. We can’t keep clinging on to the things of the past without sacrificing the health of our future.
Have you ever wondered, “Maybe it’s something I’m doing?”. Well, maybe it is. Here are 5 reasons you keep losing friends and close relationships… and how to fix that.
“You say you want it, but then you complain when you get it!”. I stared her straight in the eyes as this frustrating conversation was underway. She had been very very adamant that this was what she wanted, but her actions weren’t lining up. It was so confusing to have her telling me and everyone else who would listen that this was what she wanted, but when she was being provided with it, she wasn’t taking it.
Are you being wise, particular, picky or just plain dumb? Here are 7 dumb reasons to not date someone or to break it off.
Everyone loves the show Seinfeld. Well, most people. Before Parks and Rec, The Office, and Fresh Prince, there was the NBC prime time hit based on a New York dwelling comedian and his adventures in life and love with his three “friends”. Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer are timeless characters and still highly quotable to this day, and yet something remains true about them that actors and producers alike still cite about them.
They were terrible people and some of the most petty people around.