Wearing a smile but carrying a heavy heart, losing the sense of hope and optimism you once had – it’s a difficult journey when you’ve lost your joy.
Source: 20th Century Fox
Getting older is usually marked by a few things. One is the slowing down of the body, where the things you used to be able to do (or the things you say you used to be able to do) aren’t so easy to do any more. You can’t jump so high or move as freely, and at older ages you start to crack in places you didn’t know you had. One is an increase in knowledge and wisdom, that through your varied experiences in life, you feel you become more well rounded in understanding. I dunno if this is always the case, as sometimes we can have multiple bad experiences which have actually taken us further backwards or made us learn something that isn’t true or accurate.
And the other big one is that we slowly but surely become more cynical.
As life goes on, it gives you lots more reasons to be upset. With every opportunity to grow, it seems we are presented with several more disappointments, setbacks, moments where we feel like we aren’t doing as well as we should. We get the sense that we’ve lost something. Where we may have been bright eyed and optimistic about our future, the sad reality is that we are becoming ever increasingly apathetic towards what life has to offer us. Maybe you won’t get the career you want after all. Maybe you won’t get married to the sort of person you thought you would within the time frame you thought you would. Maybe you just won’t be able to ever sleep peacefully at night again.
That hanging sense of guilt and shame, a wondering if you’ll ever be good enough… What do you do when you can’t stop feeling ashamed?
When it comes to secrets, most of us have quite a few. We can have secrets about what we want to do with our lives. We can have secrets we know about other people that we try to keep to ourselves. We can have secrets about things that happened in our lives, things we’ve said to others. We can have secret hopes and dreams that we haven’t talked to anyone about but that burn in our hearts whenever we think about them. We can have secret instances where we’ve been offended and completely absorbed it into ourselves. Some secrets can be healthy – others can be destructive.
However, the most destructive secret that so many of us carry is that nagging sense of never being good enough. A sense of overwhelming guilt and unworthiness.
For those who know me, I can be quite an introspective little soul. I constantly find myself looking at my current behaviour, situations, thoughts, dreams… pretty much everything really. I usually find myself asking for feedback and trying to understand myself and others better, almost to the point of annoying others about it. And so I thought it was time for another one of those types of posts, where we just go right into it. I always like to share my heart, so here it is. Continue reading
So you want to change the world… but who’s going to pay for your dream? A practical look at making dreams a reality.
One of my favourite things to ask someone is what their dream is. It seems like a simple question, but it often takes many people a long time to respond. Some respond by saying, “I haven’t actually been asked that before, I haven’t thought about it”. Fair enough. Some respond by saying, “well that’s a personal question”. Well, yes, I’m interested in you as a person, so I’ll ask a personal question to find out who you are. Other times people reference someone else’s dream, and their desire to do the same thing, or something like it.
But then you chip away a little bit further, and you eventually find out what this person really wants to do. I love it. It’s amazing how powerful the dreams in our heart can be. Whether they’ve been in us the whole time, or only recently discovered, I think those dreams speak to us of our divine destiny and calling in life. As a result, there probably will never be higher satisfaction for us than in seeing those things realized.
But having a dream is one thing. Seeing it come to pass is another. Continue reading
It’s been a year of highs and lows. With the arrival of 2016, here are 6 things I’m grateful for in 2015.
Wow. 2016 is here. That means the 20s are almost back (also known as the Twenty Twenties). You know, a lot of people at this time of year comment on how quickly the year has gone by. For me, it definitely feels like a year has gone by. Can you believe all the stuff that happened in 2015? Continue reading
Dishonesty can be super destructive, but it’s even worse when the one lying to me is the man in the mirror. Here are 5 lies we tell ourselves.
One of my favourite bands is going to be here in Brisbane in the next few weeks – TFK. Absolutely love those guys. Usually when I’m giving people a lift somewhere and they haven’t ridden with me before, people always comment that they’re surprised I listen to their style of music. Not many people pick me as a metal/rock fan, but when it comes to their music I can’t get enough of it. They do have quite a few more mellow acoustic ballads too, which make up some of my favourite songs of all time, but I do love their more grungy and heavy stuff too. No matter which style of song they’re doing, the boys at TFK have some of the best lyrics around. One of their songs set me on a line of thinking here –
You know what I wish sometimes? I wish I wasn’t afraid. Fear holds us back from so much in life.
This year has been a pretty amazing year for me. There’ve been so many big changes happen, and it’s a far cry from last year. It’s been a similar year for so many other people in my life – new jobs, new relationships (there’s about a billion of these at the moment), new friendships, new career opportunities, new children. It seems like life is always presenting us with new opportunities, and so many of the ones that have been coming up have been those big ones taking people into their area of calling.
I get so annoyed at myself sometimes though. On the outside, I present myself as fairly confident. And I usually am. But when I get by myself, when I’m driving somewhere, when I’m thinking on things, when I’m about to go to sleep at night, sometimes I find myself trying to talk myself out of things. It’s illogical, it’s persistent, it’s a nagging thought… but I’ve learnt to call it by its true name – fear. And I wish I wasn’t afraid. But it’s something I find myself facing all too often. Continue reading
They say busy is the new black, but are people as busy as they’re letting on? Here’s what I’m Too Busy really means.
We’ve all been there. You’re putting together an event, or trying to catch up with someone you haven’t seen in a while, or trying to make an appointment with the family, and just trying to lock it all down. Put it in the calendar, tee up the appointment, make it happen. But alas, the person or people you’re trying to lock down respond with that line that we use all too often nowadays – “I’m too busy”. Continue reading
Here’s another frequently requested topic that I’m finally getting around to writing about – the notion of “if it’s meant to be, it’ll happen”.
We use this sentence in a lot of different scenarios. People who’ve asked me to write about it have asked mainly from the context of relationships, but it also extends to a wide variety of areas in our lives – yes indeed, romantic relationships, but also friendships, our career, dreams or goals, or any number of opportunities that come our way. When approaching these things in our lives, many people have taken a position of “well, whatever, if it’s gonna happen, it’ll happen”.
Some call it fate, some call it God, some call it the forces of the universe – whatever view people have, there’s a notion that beyond human involvement, if something is meant to happen, it will.
Spending my 20s hitting all the big milestones… apparently. Have I made it yet?
It’s been a little while, huh? Apologies for the lack of posts recently. If you’ve been following a few of my last posts or have spoken to me lately, you’ll know over the last 4 months or so i have been trying to purchase a house. After 37 inspections, 4 offers, and 2 contracts, I am happy to announce (if you didn’t know already) I found a really great place in the east of Brisbane. All the hard work finally paid off. I think it’ll take me a little while longer to get everything all set up, but it’s all well under way. Life is good.
As I was packing up and cleaning my old house, I had moved most of my furniture and stuff into the garage. I remember walking around the garage one night and thinking, wow, this is most of what they would call my “net worth”. My value according to that measurement could be measured in just about a double garage.
And it got me thinking about a question a lot of us ask, especially in our 20s and 30s…