You asked, I answered. From the Lego Hair on my head to why I talk about relationships so much, here are the honest answers to your questions. Here is where Matt answers anything.
So a while ago I put it out to my readers to ask me whatever they wanted. Last week, I had a number of people come up to me and ask, “Hey Matt, you haven’t answered my question yet”. Looking at it, it’s actually been months since I originally put the challenge out there, so… sorry it took so long.
This one is for you.
These questions come from readers all around the world. Those who know me in person, and those who don’t. Hopefully this is a chance for you to get to know me better, and just to have some fun. Any topic was up for grabs. Here we go!
How do you have the same hairstyle since forever?
This is one of the biggest questions I’ve had over the course of my life, so I was anticipating receiving it again here. For those who don’t know, my hair doesn’t move. I was at a foreign barber once where he asked me, “Excuse me, are you actually a person? I know you’re a person, but your hair type makes no sense!”. Growing up, one of my nicknames was Ray Martin, after the A Current Affair presenter. Another nickname that sticks is Lego Hair, because my hair looks the same just after waking up, doing watersports, on windy mountains… pretty much all the time. I look like a Lego character that’s just popped off his old haircut and put on a new one. In fact, I was in a family friend’s funeral once where someone recognized me 20 years after seeing me as a child simply from my haircut.
To me it saves me a lot of money on hair products, so that’s a plus. Would I ever change it? Not sure. I’m not actually convinced that it could be changed.
Why do you talk about relationships so much?
Good question. Two answers to that question among many I could give here. The first is that I think that I’m not necessarily always seeking to talk about it, I’m just a person who doesn’t avoid or move on from the topic if it comes up. The reality for a lot of us is that relationships can be a touchy subject, and as a result when it comes up, people can be quick to move on to avoid discussing something too close to their heart. I love to go there. I love to stay on the real issues in our lives.
The other is that relationships are such a key part of our lives, and I find that most people’s problems in life are simply relationship problems. It’s always interesting to me that some people will complain about being lonely, or not being sure of who they should be doing life with, or of their desire to be a parent, but they will avoid the topic of relationships at all costs. They refuse to talk about the men in their life, or the women in their life, or even how they really feel with their friends. This is a real shame, as I believe relationships are heaven’s answer to so many of these issues. Sexual issues reign, loneliness crushes people’s hearts, people have no friends… can we please talk about these things? I think people live in bondage too long because they don’t want to go there, or they don’t know how.
What are 3 blindspots you notice young adults having?
This comes from a mate who runs a successful set of blogs on his own. Given the enormous can of worms that could be opened by answering this in full, here are 3 quickies that come to the top of my head – not knowing their purpose, having a lack of focus in their lives (doing too much and not wanting to feel pigeon holed, but then being confused because they don’t have enough definition), and ignoring major issues in their lives.
Why do you value women?
I loved this question so much I wrote a full post to answer this one. You can read that one here.
You write about a lot of topics – why don’t you write more about yourself?
I actually do write quite a bit about myself. I just think the posts about relationships or sex are all people see, maybe sometimes because those are the bigger issues people want to read about. A recent one I wrote about myself for instance was I Can’t Compete with Myself, and it was actually quite frank and open about myself. Check it out if that sort of thing interests you.
Oh, and not to mention the one you’re reading right now.
How do you help people discover who they are and how to live it out? I have a passion to see them reach their potential
First of all, that’s awesome. Our world needs more people like you!
Second of all, one of my biggest driving statements in this area comes from leadership speaker John Maxwell, who says that leaders see more than others, and they see it before others. You simply have to be paying enough attention to the lives of people to recognize the gifts and calling on their lives, and then be willing to call it out. I reckon if you’re doing that everywhere you go, you’re building lives.
Who is more annoying – Navi or Jar Jar Binks?
Controversially, I liked both. Jar Jar I thought was a good addition to the Star Wars universe (and cause I love the Star Wars prequels more than the originals), and Navi was actually very useful, especially for 1997-1998. She launched games design of the future. I’ve watched people who complain about guides like that also complain when the guide is turned off because they don’t have any idea of where to go or what to do.
You said you cried during Return of the King, and didn’t say which scene it was. Which scene is it?!
Okay okay okay… it’s the scene when Aragorn becomes king.
I won’t say why.
Also once again, the Mouth of Sauron is one of the best scenes in any movie.
How do you be honest with people and yourself?
Great question. Love this one. I think one of the main thoughts to this end is that your heart matters. It does. If you don’t think it does, you will continually lie to yourself, and to others. If you value yourself, you’re more likely to speak the truth in love.
Probably a recent post I wrote similar to this end is about What Guarding Your Heart Really Means. Check that one out if you’re interested in some more thoughts on that.
You include a lot of Scripture, but you don’t reference a lot of it. Why is that?
This one comes from a very strong theological mind out there. For those paying enough attention, most of my thoughts are centered around or based on the contents of Scripture. I think the main reason for that is that I’m a Christian and it’s the biggest aspect of my life. The reason I don’t reference specific locations all the time is simply because people often turn their mind off if they read that something is about to come from Scripture. I simply don’t always reference to hammer home just how relevant it is to every area in our lives.
What is your biggest weakness/failure?
Here’s a big one. I guess one of the biggest areas of weakness I’ve identified in my life, and others have noted, is that I feel everything in a big way. In fact, one of my good friends Tembo just texted me a few days ago about that very thought, just out of the blue. He was saying that because I allow myself to feel people’s happiness, I also deeply feel their sadness, and I also feel my own much deeper too. He called it a dangerous game I play but it was something he valued. Good man, Tembo #ShoutOut.
Regarding this one, I would say this is also a strength, kind of a double edged sword in my life. I am pastorally minded. I have gone to great lengths to ensure I feel deep empathy for those people in my world. When they celebrate, I want to be celebrating with them. When they’re sad, I want to feel burdened with them and help them work through it. And so as a result, if someone makes me happy, I am really happy, and if someone hurts me, it hurts in places I didn’t even realize I had.
That’s probably the biggest one that comes to mind #RealTalk.
So there you go, some very honest answers to some very honest questions. Hope you enjoyed those. If I get more questions in the future, we’ll definitely look at doing this again.
On that note, are there questions you’d like some honest answers to? Fire away.