Walking the Shoreline

The journey of someone just like you, on a journey just like you

Category: Friends (page 1 of 7)

Doing It Alone? 7 Reasons We Won’t Ask For Help

Are you doing it alone when you don’t have to be, or dealing with someone who is? Here are 7 reasons we won’t ask for help.

7 Reasons We Won't Ask For Help

Source: pexels

Wedding planning is a crazy time. It’s exciting, it’s confronting, it’s encouraging, it’s challenging, it’s happy, and it’s up and down. Or at least those have definitely been my experiences with it. The death of individualistic living and the birth of something completely new. My poor utilitarian mancave of a house will never be the same.

PS. That’s actually a really good thing, I can only imagine the thoughts people have kept to themselves over the years when they’ve come over!

I remember some advice that’s been passed on to other people during their engagement and also recently repeated to me – “don’t be afraid to ask for help”. And how awesome it has been to ask for help and to get it. Continue reading

Why Timon and Pumbaa Are The True Villains Of The Lion King

Hakuna Matata and eating bugs accompanied by utter devastation. Here’s why Timon and Pumbaa are the true villains of The Lion King… and of the lives of many of us.

Why Timon and Pumbaa are the true villains

Source: Disney

I had the awesome privilege of getting to witness the Aladdin musical featuring The Genie from Broadway last week. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. You get the point. It was stupendous. The sets, the songs, the costumes (!!!) were all top notch. Yes, I did cry… but it was from laughing so hard during the song High Adventure. People missed Abu but his replacements are quite hilarious. And the set they used for The Cave Of Wonders is something I won’t soon forget!

Unfortunately, I have yet to see The Lion King on stage yet, but definitely one for the list. What a timeless story that one is. Full of adventure, family, love, friends, conquering evil…

Oh yeah, and some of the most devastating villains in cinema history. Continue reading

7 Ways To Destroy Your Friendships and Key Relationships

It’s easier to break a connection than it is to build one. Here are 7 ways to destroy your friendships and key relationships.

7 Ways To Destroy Your Friendships And Key Relationships

Photo by Bruce Mars from Pexels

Relationships are the greatest source of joy, or the greatest source of pain. There’s no real middle ground. Whether it be friends, significant others, key business partners, or people we wish we were closer to, our interactions with each other frame the best and worst moments of our lives.

In one of my sets of relationships at the moment, there are several people extremely hurt by someone’s actions and the actions that surround their actions. It’s difficult to deal with and has resulted in years and years of angst and estrangement. The relationships between a number of people are greatly strained and have resulted in a number of flow on impacts to people’s health and wellbeing. It’s even sadder and more difficult that there exists failure to identify that anything being done is actually wrong or harmful to others. Continue reading

Are You The Problem In Your Relationships?

It’s not me, it’s everyone else who’s crazy! Or are these the words of ignorance? It’s time to ask – are you the problem in your relationships?

Are You The Problem In Your Relationships?

Source: Castle Rock

I wrote towards the start of the year about one of the most frequently used break-up lines in history – it’s not you, it’s me. At the time it seems so easy to use, and yet in the postmortem of our relationships we may find there was more to the death of the relationship than we initially acknowledged or heard about.

I think blame shifting and blame laying are very common practices across all sorts of relationships. I’ve been in a number of meetings where an employee, a contractor or a project gets thrown under the bus for a greater perception that they have been holding things up. I’ve had scores and scores of male and female friends and acquaintances discuss how there’s just no one good enough for them out there, whether as a group of friends or as a love interest (bit painful being told they don’t know anyone who would make a good friend!). We all know those who seem to always have frustrations with the people in their lives. Continue reading

My Problem With “Don’t Judge Me”

Everyone wants justice, but not everyone wants to be judged… here’s my problem with one of the most frequently used sentences in the entire world: “don’t judge me”.

Don't Judge Me

Judgmental frog is judging you…

Never before in history have the terms Nazi, racist, bigot, or “X”-ophobe (insert your phobia of choice here) been more prevalent in the common lexicon of our society. Well, perhaps maybe during World War 2 where those terms really did apply and some would wear those with a badge of true honour, but I digress. We live in a world that is very much up in arms about standards towards morality, legality and acceptance.

In truth, these issues have always been present throughout history. Recently I went on a big history binge on the history of the Ottomans, the origins of Russia from 2000BC, the history of China, and all the different wars and conflicts that have broken out over the last few thousand years. Ideals and a common set of standards have been heatedly contested to the point of bloodshed for millenia. So I guess the relative (and I use “relative” very loosely) lack of global scale conflict is quite welcome given how many millions of people have lost their lives in the larger scale conquests and conflicts (although many lives are still lost).

As individuals, we strive for harmony and acceptance in our way of life. Rightly so. Who enjoys living their lives in fear or being ruled by some tyrant who suppresses their people?

But on a micro-relational scale, we strive even moreso to have the love and acceptance of people in our circles. Continue reading

The Seasons of Friends

Not everyone who comes into your life is going to stay. Like summer dawns and winter fades, we must learn to negotiate the seasons of friends.

Seasons of friends

Source: Lionsgate

What comes to mind when you think of the biggest disappointments in your life? Or the biggest challenges you’re facing right now? Some would say it’s trying to achieve a certain milestone at work. Others might say supporting their partner or loved one through a difficult time. Some might even point to not making in to a certain team or college.

For most people, I don’t think I would be wrong in saying our biggest disappointments are usually tied to people. In particular, to friends.

Continue reading

What Do You Do When People Don’t Change?

Is it my fault, was there anything else I could’ve done, or is there something more going on? What do you do when people don’t change?

What do you do when people don't change?

One day on my Facebook page I started posted some thoughts that had really helped me in my life. Whether it be negotiating work decisions or one of the leadership lessons that stuck with me, I just thought it’d be worthwhile to share a few things that made a marked difference for me. The response was quite overwhelming, and since then, I try to post as often as I can, with many people telling me even to this day they’re still enjoying them (people still read them even if they don’t always react to them).

This week I posted a short thought answering “What do you do when people don’t change?”. It was a topic that resonated with a great many people. So, in response I thought, well, let’s give it a longer look. Continue reading

Our Obsession With Outrage and Being Triggered is Destroying Society

Hyperbole is the order of the day, “civil discussions” are characterised by yelling and name calling, and people are losing their lives – we need to stop with the outrage and being triggered.

Outrage and Being Triggered

Source: Evelyn Hockstein/The Washington Post via Getty Images

Many people will have seen the recent riots inĀ Charlottesville. Truly a tragedy in the midst of what has already been a tumultuous year on the Earth. Where there is disagreement on views, unfortunately violence soon follows. In this case, the ugly shadow of racism looms large in the wake of these recent events.

I’m not a sociologist. I’m not a full-time student of international human rights. I don’t fully understand the motivations behind many of the marches and protests that take place in our global community. I’m not even an American. But from my vantage point, I can say this:

Our obsession with outrage and being triggered is destroying society. Continue reading

5 Reasons Millennials Struggle to Find Mentors

When you’re in your 20s and 30s, sometimes all you want is someone older to help guide your way. Here are five reasons millennials struggle to find mentors.

Millennials Struggle to find mentors

Source: Warner Bros., and an amazing film on this topic

One of the biggest issues I get raised to me by people in my age group is the question of finding the right mentors for this season of life. The ages between 20 and 40 are drastically diverse, and seeking direction from your peer group who are struggling with divergent issues to your own can be difficult. Sure, at the start of our 20s, all of us are in a similar boat – getting set into full-time work, completing university or college courses, stepping out after a few years in our apprenticeships, starting relationships at the same time. But once you go over the age of 25, all of a sudden finding people who are similar to you is a major struggle. Some already have kids, some have never dated anyone, some have been married, some have been divorced, some have started thriving businesses, some have already filed for bankruptcy, some consider themselves professionals and are well established in the path of their choosing, some have no idea where the path even begins.

Continue reading

7 Things I Love About Brisbane (And 2 I Don’t…)

Brisbane, Australia is probably the best city in the whole world. Or at least to me. Here are seven things I love about Brisbane.

Things I Love About Brisbane

This was taken by me at the end of last year on a cruise of the Brisbane River

Okay, so I can’t comment on the excellence of Brisbane in California (which is pronounced “Brisbaaaane” instead of what the Australians call “Bris-bin”), and I can’t comprehensively rule out the greatness of all the other cities on earth, but my personal bias leads me to loving the city I was born in. Like most Brissie babies I was born at the Mater Hospital (now the Lady Cilento Children’s Hospital), and have lived here for the majority of my life. I’ve known many people who have come from all across the world to spend part of their life here, and any of my friends who have ever moved on from here will always tell me that Brisbane has something that nowhere on earth has.

And I think I’ve got a pretty good handle on a lot of the reasons why Brisbane is the place people never forget, and the place many people never want to leave. Here are 7 things I love about Brisbane… and 2 that I don’t.

Continue reading

You Need To Stop Lying To Your Friends

I know you mean well and I know you think you have good intentions, but you really need to stop lying to your friends.

Lying to your friends

Source: Universal… and truth be told, one of my favourite comedies ever

Two of my friends recently hosted a corporate fundraiser in order to raise funds and awareness for one of their big events coming up fairly soon. The event is known as The Uprising and is centred around highlighting the state of the mental health of youth across Australia. The fundraiser featured the captain of the Brisbane Broncos, Darius Boyd, who shared his own personal struggles with anxiety and depression. Having lost several male figures in his life, he kept much of his demons to himself, until he finally decided to check himself in to a mental health facility for help.

It was quite humbling to hear from such a prominent figure sharing their inner demons. I have faced similar challenges in my own life, and it was great to hear him talk about how a man in his position needed to find a place where he could just be himself and get real about the things happening in his life. Continue reading

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