When things don’t go the way you hoped, breaking it off with someone seems to be the most viable option. Here are 7 things to consider before throwing your relationship away.
Source: Focus Features (and a brilliant move on this topic!)
I’m writing this towards one of the most reflective times of the year – Christmas. Like birthdays and New Year’s Eve, it’s one of those repeated items of the calendar that make you think about this time last year. It’s one of those times you reconsider everything in your life – your work life, how close you are to achieving your dreams, the decisions you’ve made this year, and – yes, of course – your relationships. David McCandless did a study for a Ted Talk whereby he found that one of the most common times of the year to breakup is the two weeks leading up to and including Christmas. Continue reading
Heartache, sickness, that longstanding condition that just won’t leave you alone, or the unanswered prayer that constantly breaks your heart. Why hasn’t God healed me yet?
People go through all sorts of afflictions and setbacks in life. Some are minor, like learning your favourite barista has moved shops and you have to put up with the new one’s definition of cappuccino, missing the 10% off sale, or not being able to find where all your left socks are going. There are others in the moderate range, like being turned down for a date after you’ve met someone you seem to click with, or being passed over for a promotion you thought you might like.
Have you already missed the best person for your life? Have you missed ‘the one”? Or is your soulmate still out there?
If you know me, you know I always take note when someone mentions a greater struggle taking place in their lives. I seem to have some sort of a fascination with the bigger reasons behind why people do things, and some people have learned not to mention certain things around me because I’m likely to ask a lot about it. I’m also interested in why people don’t do things. I really find it hard at times to shake certain comments people make long after I’ve finished conversing with them. I tend to feel people’s thoughts, their fears, their regrets deep within my heart.
Case and point, today I was reminded of a few people who had talked to me on the topic of whether or not they had already missed “The One”. No, not that Jet Li movie (although I still really enjoy that one) – the ever elusive soulmate. Does such a perfect person exist for each person in the world, and if so, is it possible that I may have already missed my chances with them?
I remember such a conversation where one of my friends was looking visually distraught. “What’s wrong?”, I asked. “Well”, she said, “my ex is getting married today, and I’m finding it really hard”. I was trying to be comforting and was saying how hard it is when you have to watch someone who broke things off with you enter into a new relationship. She said, “No, I was the one who broke it off with him, and now I’m sad he’s getting married to someone else”. Continue reading
It can be really hard to believe that it’s possible to have 12 close friends at the age of 30. And yet our wedding day proved to be a great celebration of friendship and what it takes to build and celebrate connections that last a lifetime.
Our Wedding Day
Long time no post, huh? I know what you’re thinking. Matt’s married now so that means it’s time for him to disappear off the face of the planet and to never be heard from again. In truth, we did do that for a while on our honeymoon in The Land of The Long White Cloud (New Zealand), and it was great.
But alas, a far greater tragedy struck as this site was hacked before and/or during the wedding and/or during the honeymoon, meaning I have spent the last few weeks trying to regain access to my site. This post of course marks the successful recovery of the site and the ability to log in as usual. Continue reading
“I love God, but I don’t go to church”. Is it really possible for these two viewpoints to co-exist in someone who professes to be a Christian?
Have you ever sat down with someone you went to high school, university, or some social gathering with, and had that little conversation of “Where Are They Now?”. Oh yeah, Billy, I remember that dude, he married that girl who looked like a model. Ah yeah, Jen, she was the school dux, now she’s a software engineer at Google.
I was doing that over the last few weeks with a few different people (they brought it up in every case) and instead of it being a happy moment, it was actually quite sad. Whilst we could recount a number of people who were doing extremely well, there kept coming up a list of different people who we are actually sorrowful about talking about where they are in life and what they’ve been doing.
What do you do when people refuse to change? Here is my problem with the statement, “I can’t help it”.
We recently completed our pre-marriage counselling, and it was an experience I would definitely recommend any serious couple to undertake. We did the Prepare/Enrich course with some longtime mentors and friends of mine. I wasn’t sure what it would be like at the start but after the 200+ questions, I knew we’d have some things to talk about. And we did. I remember one of my habits came up during conversation that had been brought up before – one I’ve been working to improve. Not necessarily a bad thing, but a strong clashing point that could come off as dismissive in certain circumstances, which is not the vibe you want to give your spouse. Continue reading
It’s a time of preparing for a lifetime of eternal bliss, sexual fulfillment and everything always being perfect and wonderful… right? Here are 6 books I’m super glad I read before I got engaged.
A little happy snap from our engagement
And one I’m even more glad I read while engaged.
Last night I wrote a post about the questions I get asked the most about writing online. In it I wrote a small snippet about the importance of being honest, in which I wrote two different paragraphs about the engagement season to illustrate the difference when you’re being open about yourself. Thinking about it today, I was thinking that there really is a lot more I could write about the final months leading up to The Big Day. The bestowing of The One Ring to Rule Them All. The end of my old mancave life as I know it.
Oh, and I also wrote about the importance of writing consistently, so this is probably me making up for a few weeks that I’ve skipped over on the regular content! Continue reading
Whether you’re a fellow writer, a regular reader, or looking to get started yourself, I get asked about the world of blogging on a regular basis. Here are 10 questions I always get asked about writing online.
Walking The Shoreline started way back in 2014 after I had told a group of men my age that I wanted to write online in a more public capacity one day. I had been writing online on Facebook, MySpace, Bebo, and other little places here and there and had a lot of people quite interested in what I would have to write. I went home that night and started the site . Fast forward to today and my public presence on this site attracts 400-500 readers every day from all over the world, having had over 430,000 hits and hundreds to thousands of reshares, comments, and mostly positive responses.
However, that makes me a relatively medium sized fish in a huge pond. There are no doubt many more prominent writers out there than me, and an overwhelming number of blogs you could follow on any topic, especially the growing number of health and fitness blogs, each doing numbers successful enough that the authors can quit their day jobs and spend their days writing articles by the pool. Continue reading
Are you doing it alone when you don’t have to be, or dealing with someone who is? Here are 7 reasons we won’t ask for help.
Wedding planning is a crazy time. It’s exciting, it’s confronting, it’s encouraging, it’s challenging, it’s happy, and it’s up and down. Or at least those have definitely been my experiences with it. The death of individualistic living and the birth of something completely new. My poor utilitarian mancave of a house will never be the same.
PS. That’s actually a really good thing, I can only imagine the thoughts people have kept to themselves over the years when they’ve come over!
I remember some advice that’s been passed on to other people during their engagement and also recently repeated to me – “don’t be afraid to ask for help”. And how awesome it has been to ask for help and to get it. Continue reading
Hakuna Matata and eating bugs accompanied by utter devastation. Here’s why Timon and Pumbaa are the true villains of The Lion King… and of the lives of many of us.
I had the awesome privilege of getting to witness the Aladdin musical featuring The Genie from Broadway last week. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. You get the point. It was stupendous. The sets, the songs, the costumes (!!!) were all top notch. Yes, I did cry… but it was from laughing so hard during the song High Adventure. People missed Abu but his replacements are quite hilarious. And the set they used for The Cave Of Wonders is something I won’t soon forget!
Unfortunately, I have yet to see The Lion King on stage yet, but definitely one for the list. What a timeless story that one is. Full of adventure, family, love, friends, conquering evil…
Oh yeah, and some of the most devastating villains in cinema history. Continue reading
Whether it’s the inability to find someone worthwhile, or feeling stuck in a relationship – what do you do when nobody is good enough for you?
Photo by Bruce Mars from Pexels
This one comes to you on the other side of some exciting personal news. I’ve recently gotten engaged in the last week or so, and Walking The Shoreline has had over 400,000 visitors! I am truly humbled by all the visitors I’ve had over the last few years, as well as all the messages I get from all across the world of how a few simple words from me have fostered some thought and even some life changing decisions. One of my absolute favourite sorts of messages and conversations have been about how people have seen their marriages and relationships turn around for the better. I love hearing any of those sorts of stories, so make sure you drop me a line on my Facebook page! Continue reading